Contents:

• Why do we need empathy?
• How to determine the level of empathy and develop it in an adult
• When empathy develops in a child and how to teach him empathy

Empathy is the ability to recognize another person's emotions and feelings and understand their inner state. Sigmund Freud formulated this definition when he recommended that psychoanalysts put themselves in their patient's shoes to better understand their experiences. Nowadays, the term is used not only in relation to psychoanalysts, but also in everyday life.

Why empathy is important

When you understand the feelings and emotions of other people, it becomes easier to explain their behavior and build communication.
Let's say your son skips music school. You can ignore the reasons and simply punish him. Or you can talk to your child and understand why they are acting up: perhaps they are tired from the workload at school or are being bullied by other students.
When you show empathy, it is easier to understand why a person behaves this way.
Showing empathy is also useful at work. For example, instead of fining an employee for being late, you can try talking to them about the reasons. Perhaps, due to family circumstances, it would be more convenient for them to sometimes work from home. Having received such permission, the employee will become more productive, while a fine will only demotivate them.
The concepts of "empathy" and "identification" are close. But if the first means understanding emotions and feelings, the second means copying them. Identification can occur when one person is an authority for another. A typical example is when children adopt their parents' behavior.
Let's say a mother is tired from work, comes home angry, and yells at her older child for not keeping the house clean. The child, for whom the mother is the unconditional authority, goes to his younger brother and quarrels with him because he never picks up his toys.
If the older child had not identified with the mother, but had shown empathy, he would have understood the mother, realized why she was angry, come to the younger child, and they would have cleaned up together.

How to determine the level of empathy and develop it in an adult

There are three levels of empathy:

• Low - when a person is practically indifferent to the experiences of other people, he does not care about other people's feelings.
• Average - a person can understand the feelings of another, share them and help if necessary.
• High - when a person takes all the emotions of other people too close to heart.

A person with an average level of empathy, as a rule, knows how to:

• listen attentively to their interlocutor without judgment and evaluation;
• support.

To determine your level of empathy, you can take the questionnaire of psychology professor Albert Mehrabian.
If your level of empathy If your level of self-esteem is lower than you'd like, try following these simple tips.

1. Learn to recognize your own feelings and emotions. Say out loud what you're feeling at any given moment. It's important to learn to identify different emotions—both negative and positive. To more accurately understand your feelings, use an emotional map.

2. When talking, listen to your interlocutor without being distracted. Don't pick up your phone or look around—try to catch every word. Only by listening attentively can you understand another person.
3. Expand your circle of acquaintances and communicate with people unlike you. Each person has their own character and mental makeup. Explore new worldviews and other people's perspectives.
4. Watch more films and read. If you find it difficult to express empathy to real people, try to sympathize with your favorite characters from movies and books: track what emotions the characters experience and how they behave.

When empathy develops in a child and how to teach them empathy

A person becomes empathetic by the age of 3–4. A child is considered to have a good level of empathy if by this age he/she:

• can read the mood of loved ones: notices that mom is in a bad mood or that someone is offended by him/her, asks questions about the mood of relatives: “Dad, are you sad?”;
• is not selfish - can share toys or sweets;
• treats animals with care;
• empathizes with characters from cartoons and books: he or she may cry at a sad story or be inspired by a happy ending.

Empathy doesn't develop on its own. To help a child learn to empathize with others more quickly, you need to help them.

• Teach your child to recognize their own feelings. Ask them what upset them if they are crying, or what made them happy if they are in a good mood. By understanding their own emotions, your child will learn to understand others' emotions.
• Explain other people's experiences. If your child hit someone, explain that the person is in pain, giving examples and comparisons: "You pushed Petya, and now he is crying. He's in as much pain as you were when you fell and scraped your knee."
• When reading books to your child, encourage him to analyze the characters' emotions: "Why do you think the bunny was so upset?"
• Be a good example. Give up your seat to older people on the bus and explain to your child why you did so. Feed a stray cat and tell us what inspired you to do it.