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Learn moreYou're constantly on the run: work, household chores, children's clubs and lessons, doctor's appointments, dealing with teachers and the PTA, paying bills. At the same time, you need to find time for urgent tasks, such as helping your parents deliver garden seedlings or buying sneakers for your son. By midnight, you fall into bed, but you can't fall asleep because your head is spinning with so many thoughts and plans for tomorrow. You don't know how to get it all done. This state arises from the mental stress that accumulates in everyday life. To cope with it, it's important to learn to manage your time and priorities. Consider techniques that will help reduce stress and increase productivity, allowing you to find a balance between work and rest.
Gestalt therapist Tatyana Scheglova explains how to cope with guilt and the differences between it, responsibility, and fatigue. Understanding these emotions will help you better manage your experiences and improve your psycho-emotional state. Exploring the various aspects of guilt, responsibility, and fatigue will help you develop self-regulation skills and improve your quality of life.
In this article, you will become familiar with the main aspects of this topic. We will examine key points in detail to help you gain a deeper understanding of the subject and its significance. Discover important facts and useful tips that can be applied in practice. Read on to get a complete understanding and the knowledge you need.
- What is mental burden and why do women suffer from it more often?
- What are its characteristics?
- Why is it dangerous?
- What to do with it.
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Mental burden - what is it?
Mental burden is a hidden emotional and intellectual labor that often arises when managing family affairs and household responsibilities. It involves planning tasks, making decisions, and monitoring their implementation. Constantly focusing on these aspects can lead to mental exhaustion, even in the absence of physical strain. Recognizing and discussing the problem of mental burden is important for achieving family harmony and improving psycho-emotional well-being.
The term "mental burden" arose after the publication of the comic strip "You should've asked" by French artist Emma in 2017. This comic strip drew attention to the important issue of devaluing the mental burden that often falls on the shoulders of women. Mental burden includes not only physical responsibilities but also the emotional and organizational aspects associated with housekeeping. Even in families where both partners work and try to share responsibilities, the mental burden may remain unevenly distributed. Recognizing and discussing this problem can help achieve a more equitable division of household tasks between partners.
According to the 2017 Modern Family Index, 86% of working mothers perform "second shift" duties, including planning, organizing, and completing most household chores. Interestingly, even with higher incomes than their partners, women continue to bear the mental burden. They are three and a half times more likely to monitor children's schedules (76% versus 22% for men), three times more likely to volunteer at school (63% versus 19%), and twice as likely to be responsible for family and household chores (71% versus 38%). This confirms that equal distribution of responsibilities in the family remains a pressing issue that needs to be addressed.
Mental Burden: A Specifically Female Problem or Not
Women are more likely to experience mental burden because they traditionally take responsibility for household and family chores. Men also experience moments of emotional overload, especially under tight deadlines at work. However, professional challenges tend to have a finite deadline, while concerns about home and family can be constant and exhausting. This not only impacts psycho-emotional well-being but can also lead to stress and fatigue. It's important to pay attention to the balance between work and home responsibilities to maintain mental health.
British gender equality researcher Caroline Criado Perez raises important questions about gender inequality in her book, Invisible Women: Why We Live in a Male-Only World: The Data-Driven Inequality. She focuses on how a lack of data about women leads to the systematic neglect of their needs in various areas of life. Perez explores how this inequality manifests itself in public life, economics, medicine, and technology, and proposes solutions for eliminating these disparities. The book is an important contribution to the discussion about gender equality and the need to create a more inclusive world where the interests of all people, regardless of gender, are taken into account.

The phrase "working woman" is a tautology, since all women work in one way or another. It's worth noting that the issue is that not all work is adequately compensated. In today's society, it's important to recognize that women's work matters and deserves fair pay, regardless of the type of work.
Criado Perez cites a 2015 McKinsey Global Institute study, which found that women perform 75% of all unpaid household work worldwide. On average, they spend 3 to 6 hours a day on this, while men spend only 0.5 to 2 hours. In some countries, such as India, this imbalance is particularly noticeable: women spend approximately five hours a day on housework, while men spend only 13 minutes. Criado Perez emphasizes that gender inequality begins at an early age, as girls as young as five years old perform more household chores than their brothers. These findings highlight the importance of discussing gender roles and the need for equal division of labor in the home.
Mental Burden and Responsibility - What's the Difference?
Mental burden and responsibility are two concepts that are often perceived as synonyms. Despite their similarities, there is an important difference between them. Mental burden refers to a psychological state caused by constant tension and anxiety due to numerous tasks and obligations. Responsibility, on the other hand, involves being aware of one's obligations and fulfilling them according to certain standards. Understanding the differences between these concepts can help in managing stress and increasing personal effectiveness.

A Gestalt therapist is a specialist who uses Gestalt therapy to help people solve emotional and psychological problems. Gestalt therapy focuses on awareness of the present moment, interaction with the environment, and understanding one's feelings and experiences. The main goal of a Gestalt therapist is to help clients become aware of their internal conflicts and learn to cope with them.
A Gestalt therapist's work involves the use of various techniques, such as dialogue, role-playing, and bodywork, allowing clients to gain a deeper understanding of their emotions and behavior. Gestalt therapy is suitable for people seeking to improve their interpersonal relationships, cope with anxiety or depression, and for those who want to better understand themselves.
Choosing a Gestalt therapist can be an important step toward personal growth and improving the quality of life. When choosing a specialist, it is worth paying attention to their qualifications, experience, and approach to therapy. Gestalt therapy can be an effective tool for achieving harmony and balance within yourself.
Responsibility is an internal quality that allows us to be responsible for our words, actions, and care for others. Mental burden, in turn, is an ever-changing list of to-dos and worries. Irresponsible people often do not experience mental burden, as they shift responsibility to others. In contrast, hyper-responsible individuals can face mental overload by taking on too many responsibilities. It is important to find a balance between responsibility and attention to your own needs to avoid overload and maintain psychological health.

A Gestalt therapist is a specialist who uses Gestalt therapy methods to help people solve psychological problems and improve their quality of life. This approach focuses on awareness of the present moment and interaction with the environment. A Gestalt therapist helps clients become more aware of their feelings, thoughts, and actions, as well as identify and overcome internal conflicts.
Gestalt therapy is based on the idea that every person strives for wholeness and self-actualization. Working with a Gestalt therapist, clients learn to better understand themselves, their needs, and desires, and develop effective communication and problem-solving skills. This can contribute to improved interpersonal relationships and increased emotional well-being.
If you are seeking support in resolving psychological difficulties, working with a Gestalt therapist can be an important step toward personal growth and inner harmony.
Responsibility is our internal ability to be responsible for our words, actions, and those who depend on us. Mental load is a list of various tasks and concerns that changes every day. Irresponsible people tend not to experience such mental load, as they rely on others for decision-making and planning. At the same time, hyper-responsible individuals often experience mental overload because they take on too many responsibilities.
How to understand if you are under mental strain
Mental strain differs from regular fatigue in three key ways, as identified by researchers at the Melbourne Institute. First, mental strain is often accompanied by a persistent feeling of being overwhelmed and lacking clarity of thought. Second, it can cause decreased concentration and difficulty making decisions, which significantly impacts daily life. Third, mental strain is often associated with emotional instability, manifested as increased irritability or anxiety. Identifying these signs can help distinguish between mental burden and ordinary fatigue, which is important for choosing the right methods for restoring and maintaining mental health.
- Invisibility - occurs within a person, but leads to a whole range of unpaid physical and organizational work.
- Boundlessness - accompanies a person 24/7, both during work and household chores, and during leisure and sleep.
- Durability - does not end, no matter how many things you do, no matter how much effort you put in.
The Dangers of Mental Burden
A constant feeling of mental pressure can cause serious negative consequences. Such consequences include deteriorating mental health, increased anxiety, depression, and decreased concentration and productivity. Long-term stress can lead to physical ailments such as headaches, cardiovascular problems, and weakened immunity. It's important to focus on stress management and find ways to reduce mental stress to maintain health and improve quality of life.
- Emotional exhaustion—constantly thinking about responsibilities and tasks related to your career, relationships, and household management is emotionally draining and can lead to depression. Emotional exhaustion is accompanied by a lack of motivation, anxiety, and a loss of energy.
- Mental disorder—you begin to think poorly and struggle to cope with work responsibilities. Neuroscientist Caroline Leaf, in her book "Declutter Your Mind: 5 Simple, Scientifically Proven Steps to Free Yourself from Worry, Stress, and Toxic Thinking," describes the following symptoms of a cluttered mind: your brain feels like it doesn't belong to you, you're unfocused and discouraged, you wake up feeling tired, confused and unsure, and you suffer from intrusive memories.
- Insomnia, which makes a person irritable, which leads to problems with health, work, and relationships.
- Lack of self-care - immersed in family problems, you forget about healthy eating, physical activity, friends, and hobbies.
What to do if you're under mental stress: recommendations from a psychologist
Working with mental stress is possible with the help of writing practices. These techniques help organize your thoughts, reduce stress, and improve your overall mental and emotional well-being. By writing down your feelings and experiences, you can better understand your emotions and find ways to resolve them. Writing practices promote self-awareness and can serve as an effective tool for dealing with internal conflicts. Regular writing helps you free yourself from negative thoughts, creating space for positive changes in your life.
- Write down everything you want to accomplish during the day—don't bury them in your head.
- Plot the time period next to each item in which you plan to complete each task.
- Analyze whether it's realistic to accomplish everything you want. Very often, upon closer examination, it turns out that there are far more tasks than can be accomplished.
- Decide what can simply be removed from the list and what can be delegated, either permanently or on a one-time basis. For example, children can wash the dishes, take out the trash, help with cleaning, walk the dog, and sometimes even cook a simple dinner.
If you feel mentally burdened by an endless to-do list, it's worth considering the basis for its creation. A woman often feels guilty when her partner is tired from work and she stays home. This stems from the ingrained societal belief that caring for children and household chores is relaxation, not full-time work. However, if you examine a woman's daily routine in detail, it becomes clear that she often doesn't even have time to sit down. It's important not only to make such lists but also to discuss them with your partner so that he or she recognizes that she plays many roles: from housewife to nanny to driver. This understanding will help create a more equal relationship and reduce stress.
Tatiana Scheglova is a professional expert in her field. She possesses significant experience and deep knowledge, allowing her to effectively address assigned tasks. Tatyana actively shares her knowledge and expertise, making her a valuable specialist. With her help, clients can achieve their goals and improve their competitiveness in the market. Tatyana is always open to new challenges and strives for continuous development, which confirms her professionalism and dedication.
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