What is trust, and when is it better to trust and when to verify / ITech content

Contents:

• Trust and distrust: what is it?
• Where do trust and distrust come from?
• Trust filter: who and when should you trust?
• Overly trusting people: what's wrong with them?
• When distrust becomes a problem?
• Your trust has been betrayed - what to do?
• Why trust is important?
• When you should check and not trust?
• How to learn trust

Trusting people often have a hard time in life—that's a common belief. But if you constantly suspect everyone around you, then your life won't be truly happy. Openness to people and trust can bring joy and harmony, while mistrust only creates barriers and deprives you of the opportunity to enjoy communication. It's important to find a balance between trust and caution to make life more fulfilling and full of positive emotions.

Tatyana Scheglova, a Gestalt therapist, shares her thoughts on whether it's worth being open and trusting in relationships or better to prepare in advance for possible lies and betrayal. The importance of trust in interpersonal relationships is undeniable, but the risks associated with deception must be considered. Openness can strengthen relationships, but it requires caution and the ability to discern sincerity. Being prepared for unpleasant situations will help maintain emotional balance and protect you from disappointment.

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• Why people become trusting or distrusting;
• Who should you trust and who shouldn't;
• Why trust is important, but being naive is not;
• When mistrust interferes with normal life;
• How to start trusting yourself, the world, and people again.

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Trust and Mistrust: What Are They?

Trust is a feeling or subjective confidence that in a given relationship we will receive support, honesty, sincerity, and acceptance. It plays a key role in building strong interpersonal bonds and influences the quality of interactions. Trust is formed through experience, openness, and mutual understanding, making it an essential element in any relationship, whether personal or professional. Sustainable trust strengthens connections, increases collaboration, and creates an atmosphere in which people feel comfortable and safe.

Mistrust is the opposite of trust, accompanied by tension, fear, and a sense of insecurity in interactions with people and the world around us. When we don't trust someone or something, it prevents us from relaxing, opening up, and expressing our true feelings. We begin to control the situation, build barriers, and close ourselves off from others. Relationships lacking trust often become filled with falsehood, lies, secrecy, omissions, misunderstandings, and double standards. Eliminating mistrust is the key to building healthy and open relationships based on sincerity and mutual understanding.

Where Do Trust and Mistrust Come From?

Trust is an innate human ability that, unfortunately, is not always maintained into adulthood. Over time and under the influence of various life circumstances, our perception of trust can change. We often encounter situations that undermine our faith in people and the world around us. It is important to understand that restoring trust is possible, and it requires effort from both the trusting person and the trusted one. Developing communication skills and openness can help strengthen trusting relationships and improve interactions with others.

A Gestalt therapist is a specialist working in the field of Gestalt therapy, aimed at studying and understanding the client's current experience. The main task of a Gestalt therapist is to help people become more aware of their emotions, thoughts, and behavior, which contributes to their personal development and improves the quality of life.

Gestalt therapy is based on the idea of ​​holistic perception, which allows clients to recognize their internal conflicts and find ways to resolve them. During therapy, the client learns to recognize their feelings and needs and develops skills for interacting with the outside world.

Working with a Gestalt therapist can help address a variety of issues, such as anxiety, depression, relationship problems, and low self-esteem. Gestalt therapists use a variety of methods, including dialogue, bodywork, and art techniques, making the therapeutic process deeper and more effective.

If you are looking for a professional in this field, consider the qualifications and experience of the Gestalt therapist to choose a specialist who can help you on your journey to self-discovery and personal growth.

The initial feeling of attachment is formed through parents' care for their children. Children instinctively trust their parents, a natural process ingrained in them by nature. In the first days and months of a baby's life, the mother's role is especially important, becoming the center of their world. This trust and affection lay the foundation for subsequent emotional connections and relationships, influencing the child's personality development.

Parents who genuinely care for their children's needs create a safe and supportive environment for their development. In such an environment, children receive emotional warmth, which promotes trust in the world around them and in themselves. They learn to open up to people and express their feelings. In contrast, if parents ignore their child, suppressing their desire to share emotions and express their desires, this can lead to the child becoming withdrawn and distrustful. It's important to understand that children's emotional development is directly dependent on their parental approach and interactions.

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Vasya's mother raised him with strict demands, believing this would help him prepare for adulthood. She rarely picked him up, didn't hug him, and wasn't interested in his feelings, believing that boys shouldn't show weakness and should obey their elders. As he grew older, his mother's demands became even more stringent: she expected Vasya not to whine over trifles, not to make up stories, and to study well to avoid low-paying jobs. His mother chose extracurricular activities for him herself, without taking his wishes and interests into account. As a result, Vasya grew distrustful and withdrawn. He stopped playing tennis and chess, started getting Cs in school, and stopped sharing his worries with his mother. Instead, he views her with distrust, often snapping or joking to avoid serious communication.

Distrust develops in relationships when genuine interest and care are absent, replaced by deception, distortion, and manipulation. If a child's trust is repeatedly violated, they begin to withdraw, developing first into a distrustful teenager and then into an adult who looks for hidden motives and traps in everything. It's important to create an atmosphere of trust based on honesty and openness to avoid negative consequences for emotional development and interpersonal relationships.

Suspicion arises in an unsafe environment, characterized by numerous restrictions, criticism, and strict control. In such conditions, the inability to make a mistake leads to constant revision and redoing of work, which creates an atmosphere in which the pursuit of perfection becomes a source of stress.

A Gestalt therapist is a specialist who uses Gestalt therapy methods to help people overcome personal difficulties and emotional problems. Gestalt therapy is based on the principles of integrity, awareness, and personal responsibility. The primary goal of a Gestalt therapist is to help clients become more aware of their feelings and experiences, as well as to better understand themselves and their needs. Working with a Gestalt therapist involves exploring current experiences, becoming aware of their emotions and behavioral patterns. The therapist creates a safe and supportive atmosphere where the client can openly express their thoughts and feelings. This allows for a deeper understanding of internal conflicts and the search for ways to resolve them. Gestalt therapy can be helpful for a variety of emotional issues, such as depression, anxiety, relationship difficulties, and low self-esteem. With the help of a Gestalt therapist, clients can develop self-reflection and mindfulness skills, which contributes to an improved quality of life and emotional well-being. This feeling is initially formed on the basis of attachment. Parents provide their children with everything they need, and in return, children trust their parents, as if in advance. This is inherent in nature. In the first days and months of life, the mother plays a particularly significant role, becoming her child's entire world.

Trust Filter: Who and When to Trust

Trusting yourself, your feelings, and emotions is the foundation of emotional well-being. However, this can be difficult for those who have experienced deception and betrayal. People who have experienced negative experiences become more cautious and suspicious, which makes it difficult for them to trust, even themselves. Distrustful individuals often cannot distinguish real danger from imaginary ones and remain wary of others and their own feelings. It is important to work on rebuilding internal trust to learn to distinguish real threats and avoid unnecessary paranoia. This will help improve the quality of life and improve relationships with others.

If you constantly encounter betrayal and breach of trust, it is important not to go to extremes, but to develop a personal filter for assessing trust in others. Establish criteria for deciding who and how much you trust. It's worth confiding all your secrets and revealing your vulnerabilities to those closest to you, as they will share your joy of success and help you overcome difficulties. With others, you can discuss professional matters and collaborate on joint projects, but avoid delving into personal matters. There are also those with whom general discussions, such as the weather, are sufficient to maintain polite conversation without expending unnecessary emotional energy. Tatyana Scheglova is an expert in her field, possessing deep knowledge and experience. She covers various aspects of her profession, demonstrating a high level of professionalism and responsibility. Tatyana is actively involved in projects aimed at developing and improving the quality of services. Her approach to work is based on thorough analysis and research, which allows her to achieve significant results. Thanks to her efforts, many clients receive the necessary solutions and recommendations that contribute to the success of their cases. Tatyana Scheglova continues to develop, keeping abreast of the latest trends and innovations in her field.

Overly trusting people: what's wrong with them

Naive people who are excessively trusting often lack an effective trust filter. This makes them vulnerable to deception and manipulation. Their openness and lack of critical thinking can lead them to become victims of scammers and manipulators. It is important to develop critical thinking and mindfulness skills to protect yourself from potential manipulation and deception.

Overly trusting people do not conform to the norms of adult behavior. An adult is usually aware of where they can encounter pain, danger, and whom they should not completely trust. Normally, they use their trust filter effectively. Excessive trust in adults can arise for several reasons. Firstly, it may be due to a lack of life experience. Such people may not have experienced betrayal or deception, which makes them more vulnerable. Secondly, excessive trust can be a consequence of low self-esteem. People with this problem often seek approval and support, which makes them more open to manipulation. Thirdly, some adults may experience a fear of loneliness, which causes them to trust others without due caution. Understanding these causes can help in developing a healthier approach to trust in relationships. Certain mental disorders, which may cause the child to perceive reality in an inaccurate manner. For example, people with brain damage can become blissfully naive. Strong moral pressure or gaslighting, especially in childhood. For example, a child was taught that feeling fear in a situation where the father is yelling and waving his fists is wrong. Such a child's personal boundaries are destroyed, and they doubt their feelings. Their trust filter is severely distorted – they believe their mother's words, not their body. "A child grows up unable to recognize danger, so they allow people who might offend, hit, or rob them to get close."

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When Mistrust Becomes a Problem

Suspicion can seriously complicate life and be no less problematic than excessive trust. A person in a constant state of defensiveness cannot relax for a moment. Their trust filter is triggered by everyone they meet, every action and word, as well as every "different" look. This leads to constant stress and tension, interfering with meaningful communication and interaction with others. Suspicion makes it difficult to build trusting relationships and can become an obstacle to personal and professional growth.

A distrustful person often ends up alone. He creates barriers around himself, because he is convinced that the world is full of dangers and enemies. As these barriers grow, so does the internal tension. Such a person becomes increasingly intolerant and aggressive, leading to the destruction of relationships and a distorted personality. Their anxiety increases, they distrust even themselves and suffer from various phobias. This is the price one pays for constant suspicion.

Tatiana Scheglova is an experienced specialist in her field, possessing deep knowledge and skills that help her achieve high results. She actively works on projects that require a creative approach and attention to detail. Tatiana always strives for self-improvement and the use of modern technologies, which allows her to stay one step ahead. Her professionalism and commitment to quality make her a valuable employee and reliable partner. Tatyana Scheglova has established herself as an expert capable of solving complex problems and achieving goals.

Your trust has been betrayed – what should you do?

Deception never brings joy. When trust is broken, it evokes unpleasant and painful emotions that leave a deep mark. It is important not to harbor resentment or remain silent. Try to clarify the situation and find out the true reasons for what happened. Ask the question: "Why did you do this?" This can help you understand the other person's motivation and restore lost trust.

You arranged a meeting with a friend where they were supposed to repay you for money they borrowed. However, they didn't show up, and their phone was switched off. You feel angry and perplexed: how is this possible? But some time later, you receive information from mutual acquaintances that your friend was in an accident and is in the hospital, and their phone is broken. This explains his absence and confirms that there was no deception.

If someone consistently deceives you and makes excuses for it, it's important to consider whether you want to continue this relationship. If the answer is no, consider cutting this person out of your close circle. This will help you get rid of the negative influence and protect yourself from irresponsibility and deception. Setting boundaries with such people improves the quality of your life and allows you to surround yourself with more reliable and sincere people.

If you run a small marketing agency and are facing problems due to a freelancer who regularly misses deadlines and uses lame excuses, such as grandma's illness or a power outage, this is a signal that it's time to take action. Trust in employees is a key factor in the successful work of a team. If you realize that you cannot rely on this freelancer, it's time to part ways and find a more reliable and responsible specialist. By building a quality team, you can improve your agency's performance and deliver better results for your clients.

If you believe you've been the victim of deliberate deception, such as a scam, it's important to thoroughly analyze the incident. Ask yourself, "Why did I trust these people?" This will help you identify vulnerabilities that could be exploited by criminals. By understanding your weaknesses, you can fine-tune your trust mechanisms and avoid similar situations in the future. By analyzing your actions and decisions, you can strengthen your fraud protection and improve your financial security.

Why Trust Is Important

Trust is the foundation for growth, development, and creation. Without trust, a significant portion of resources will be spent on defense, which hinders effective progress. Building trusting relationships allows us to optimize efforts and direct them toward productive goals that promote development and innovation.

A lack of trust in government leads to divisions in society, which can provoke revolutions and civil wars. Disunited groups are more susceptible to manipulation, which aggravates the situation and creates additional conflicts. It is important to strengthen trust between the authorities and citizens to prevent social unrest and ensure stability in society.

A lack of trust among employees in their boss leads to the fact that his instructions are carried out slowly and formally. As a result, this affects the overall efficiency of work and the quality of the execution of assigned tasks. Trust between management and the team is a key factor in achieving high results. If employees have confidence in their leader, they will be more motivated and willing to actively participate, which ultimately improves productivity and team atmosphere.

A lack of trust between partners in the family creates a tense atmosphere, which can negatively impact children. In such circumstances, children often prefer to spend time outside the home, avoiding conflict and stress. Trust is the foundation of healthy relationships, and its absence can lead to the destruction of family ties. It is important to work on strengthening trust to create a harmonious and safe environment for all family members.

Japanese sociologist Toshio Yamagishi and his colleagues found that a high level of trust is an important indicator of developed social intelligence. This quality not only promotes a better understanding of society but also has a positive impact on social connections. Trusting people are more likely to make new acquaintances and receive more lucrative offers. Paradoxically, they are also less likely to fall victim to fraud. Trust, therefore, plays a key role in forming healthy social interactions and improving the quality of life.

When it is necessary to verify and not trust

In certain situations, it is inappropriate to trust information unconditionally. It is important to critically evaluate sources and check facts, especially when it comes to significant decisions or important aspects of life. Blind trust can lead to erroneous conclusions and undesirable consequences. Therefore, it is always worth exercising caution and analyzing the received data to avoid common misconceptions and manipulation.

• When the information presented to you contains contradictory facts.
• When you are rushed to make a decision and deprived of the opportunity to think and weigh everything.
• When you receive information from strangers or people you don’t know well. In this case, it is worth looking for the original source.
• If the information is too vague, but evokes strong emotions.
• If the information comes from a person who regularly says one thing and does another.

How to learn to trust

To restore trust in yourself, you need to relearn to listen to your thoughts, recognize your feelings, emotions and needs. This is an important step on the path to self-knowledge and inner harmony. Start with a regular practice of introspection, paying attention to your feelings and desires. This will help strengthen self-confidence and improve the quality of life. It is important to approach your experiences consciously in order to establish contact with yourself and create a foundation for further personal growth.

Restoring trust in yourself and others is a long and difficult process, but it is possible. If you experience mistrust and have a distorted perception of trust, it is advisable to consult a psychologist. A specialist will help you analyze and eliminate the "blockages of illusion and falsehood" and reconsider your beliefs about trust. You will learn to recognize your feelings and desires and act accordingly. For example, if you experience tension and fear, this may signal that you shouldn't approach someone who is pressuring you and demanding a quick decision. By rebuilding your trust in yourself, you can begin the process of rebuilding trust in the world and others. However, it's important to remember that this isn't blind trust: you will learn to evaluate people's words, situations, and behaviors by filtering them through your own perception. Tatyana Scheglova is a specialist with significant experience in her field. She is actively involved in her professional activities, which allows her to remain at the forefront of modern trends and technologies. Tatyana participates in various projects, demonstrating high qualifications and a commitment to continuous development. Her expert opinion is valued in the community, and she is willing to share her knowledge and skills with colleagues and clients. Tatyana Scheglova is a name associated with quality work and reliability.